Friday, March 28, 2008

Road rulers

So Viv's uncle C (who calls me his 'nephenie') whose place I'm staying at has been showing me around Bangalore in his car. I was last here in 1992 and though the weather here is just as fabulous as it was 16 years ago, the traffic is now unbelievable. What is even more unbelievable is that in spite of following the rules himself, how forgiving Uncle C is of people who don't. We have had quite a few discussions on the terrible traffic situations we have found ourselves in, most of which (the conversations, not the traffic situations) have had me explode into laughter.

***
We're stuck in a traffic jam and when I look around, every vehicle is at a different angle, squirming to get out of it.

Me - So people don't follow any rules at all?

Uncle C - Of course they do! They follow the rules that they make themselves.

***

So we're trying to park along the road (legit!) when this teenager, armed with a whistle, runs up to our car and guides us into the parking space.

Me - So this guy... is he official? As in, he's been appointed to do this?

Uncle C - Oh yes! He's appointed. Self-appointed.

***

We're driving along when I spot a bad driver. Now me saying 'bad driver' has a greater meaning than a regular person saying 'bad driver'. So you can imagine how bad this guy was. Watching him almost get killed reminded me of something.

Me - You know, Uncle C, one of my professors used to say, "There are no bad drivers in Singapore. That's because they are all dead."

Uncle C - Hmmm...There are no good drivers in India. Same reason.

***

We're driving along when I spot a family of three balanced precariously upon a tiny scooter.

Me - Uncle C, I thought they had some new law saying three people are not allowed on a scooter?

Uncle C - Yes, that's right. Three people are not allowed. Only even numbers are allowed. Two, four, six, eight... etc.

***



14 comments:

satish said...

ggggggoooooooooooooooooooollllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll

Bivas said...

Absolutely True abt the terrible traffic here!!!
N bangalore climate has changed a lot over the past 3 yrs u know...its not as cool as it used to be...but still love the city :-)
N did I mention, uncle C's sense of humor is terrific...loved those one liners! :D
And wid this I take silver :-)

Cinderella said...

oh wow.. bronze!!

gud drivers..really a good one.

it reminds me of a line written by traffic police in kanpur at one of the ring roads.. 'drive slowly! jinko jaldi thi wo chale gaye'.

SRK said...

oh, so it was ur uncle C who was driving so slowly, following all rules, breaking no red light and stuff...
no wonder we got stuck in traffic in Blr :)

satish said...

Uncle C - Hmmm...There are no good drivers in India. Same reason.

hehehehehehaha

Sanchit said...

Only even numbers are allowed. Two, four, six, eight... etc.

Hilarious...

starbreez said...

Uncle C is one of a kind. :)

Shekhar said...

~laughs~ Your Uncle is an absolute dude !!!

Hmm.. I did think of you a couple of days back when I was going through the sports page of the TOI. It carried a news item saying that the Bangalore cricket team was beaten by the Singapore cricket team. You've come along with Viv for the match?

~Sherlock Holmes waali look~

Janefield said...

sashben, how is b'lore treatin you? :) uncle C seems to be on top of things in his city!

Clueless said...

Uncle C ROCKS! :D

Sudipta Chatterjee said...

Aapke uncle ko blog shuru karne boliye!

Vaijayanta Chattoraj said...

This traffic problem will increase in days to come. No one is trying to find a solution for it. Its so ridiculous. All Bangaloreans should cycle to their destinations so that it reduces traffic jams and it is more environment friendly.

tevezmess said...

Car Pooling is the ONLY solution!

Sayesha said...

#Satish,
Aa gaya? :D

#Bivas,
Hehehe! He does have a traffic sense of humour, doesn't he? :D

#Cinderella,
Hahaha! :D

#SRK,
Oh so you were that guy on the bullock cart blocking the road?? No wonder there was such a jam! :)

#Satish,
:D

#Sanchit,
Hahaha! :D :D

#Starbreez,
He sure is! :)
ps: We missed you man!

#Shekhar,
//~laughs~ Your Uncle is an absolute dude !!!

He totally is! :)

//You've come along with Viv for the match?

Wah! Shabash! Great sleuthing! :)

#Janefield,
Awesome place man! And supercool uncle! :D

#Clueless,
I swear! :D :D :D

#Sudipta,
I told him that too!!!!!!!! :D

#Vaijayanta,
Errr.. okay... :)

#Tevezmess,
Yeah I hope it's better by the time I make my next trip! :)